And He's 10

Angry, newborn Brody. 

My sweet Brody is ten years old....

Double digits. 

So much has happened in his short life.
Divorce, moving, pain.
Also happiness, love, change for the better.

There is so much to Brody.
Let's start at the beginning...

Things I Learned After Becoming a Mom

As I have grown up and grown as a mother, there are so many little things

that surprise me on a daily basis...

Mani/Pedi for Maddie Girl

Maddie had a blast get pampered by the Spa W ladies today. 

Divorce Made Me a Better Mother

Click to read more. 

Gender Disappointment

Today I am going to open up about something that no one talks about. 

Something that people look down on. 

Something that women (and men) often hide and bottle up because people judge so harshly. 

27

Another year older, another year wiser. 

27 feels very strange. 

Not because I don't want to grow older, age does not bother me. 

Mostly because I feel older and, simultaneously, younger than 27, but not 27. 

Getting pregnant at 16 made me grow up a whole hell of a lot faster than I was supposed to. I had to make more mature decisions, I had to be responsible for myself and another human, I had to make grown up choices. Bills, work, survival. Instead of the normal teenage dreams. 

Now, 11 years later, I still feel 16 in some ways. 

I look young, and thus still get many of the judgmental stares and glares. I still have people asking me "How old are you?!" with that tone of disapproval. I still have to struggle with doctors and teachers taking me seriously after learning my age. 

And yet, I also feel much older. 

I have endured a much older persons pain. I have had to make decisions I hope that no one would ever have to make. I have had to live with the consequences of my choices. 

Here I am, 27 with 6 children.

These numbers don't scare me. I am grateful for them. 

Here's to another year of life, love, and lessons. 

Zachy & Mommy OOTD: Matchy Matchy

Zach's outfit: 

shirt, jeans, and jacket from Gap

Shoes: Toms

Mommy outfit:

Jacket: Gap

Jeans: AE

Shirt: Mossimo

Shoes: Toms

Stay-at-Home Mom

Mercy

image via huffingtonpost

After enduring a wretched marriage, and a vengeful and malicious divorce where every single thing I have ever done was scrutinized and spread throughout town for others to scrutinize as well, I learned not to judge others. 

We are all guilty of casting judgement in some form or another, but keep in mind that their story is a mystery to you. Take a moment to consider how your story looks from the outside, how my story looks from the outside, how a dear friend's story looks from the outside. Without vital details, you can draw unfounded and unjust conclusions. 

Our society thrives on judgement, and we've all felt the pain of being unfairly judged. 

Never judge a person's actions until you know their motives. 

There is something greater than judgement, and it is called mercy. 

Zachary: ADD & OCD & Depression

My Zachary is special needs. 

Mommy&Maddie: OOTD

Maddie and I love matching outfits, or even complimentary outfits, as we are wearing today. With only two girls in our house of boys, we capitalize on every opportunity. 

Mommy today: 

American Eagle olive green jacket and destroyed jeans. 

White Mossimo boyfriend tee

Toms

Maddie today:

Old Navy vest

Gap white shirt

Zara jeans, distressed by me

Dolce Vita leopard print sandals

Strong Women

My goal in life is to raise healthy, happy children. I want all of them to flourish and thrive, to enjoy the journey of life, and to be where they want to be.

Of course, life isn't all sunshine and daisies, but I think most mothers want this for their children.

One particular aspect that scares the hell out of me is raising a strong daughter. I want her to be strong, confident, happy, and never let anyone treat her like shit. This resonates with me daily as I remember the struggles I have been through.

Would I consider myself a strong woman? No. But I am stronger than I was. I work on it daily to let go of fears and thoughts that were ingrained in me by someone I thought cared for me, to be happy with myself, to know without a doubt that I am worth it.

I lived life drowning in anxiety, fear, self consciousness, and depression, because I allowed myself to be controlled by someone else and their opinion of what I was worth. I am more than my body, my weight, my looks.

The last several years, I have been working on myself. I want my children to remember me as someone who knew her value and didn't accept less. I want them to remember me as a strong mother, a strong wife, a strong person.

Specifically, my daughter. As growing up gets more difficult with each generation, in this day of facebook, social media, body shaming, and cyber bullying, I want to instill in her the knowledge of her own self worth.

Today, I know I am beautiful, I am talented, I am worth more than my weight in gold. I will not be ashamed or lessen my worth out of someone else's opinion of me, and I am allowed to be proud of who I am.

And I know I am lucky to have someone by my side who knows it too.

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale: Early Access Picks

Separation Anxiety

I have tried to write a blog post for over a week now; tried to put something out there that was positive, fun, or interesting to read. Every time I opened my computer, I froze. No words would come. My thoughts are consumed with missing my children, who are visiting their dad for the summer, and I couldn't think of much else.

I'm hoping putting pen to paper will help.

If you follow my blog and instagram, you know that I am a crusader against the picture perfect. I strive to show real life and not live by society's Pinterest idea of a mother.

Right now is one of those not-so-picture-perfect times.