When Co-Parenting Gets Difficult

Co-Parenting requires so much work and selflessness from both parties involved. It can go so very right, and so very wrong. 

My biggest hope since I got divorced was to make the split as easy as possible on my children. 

So for the past five years, putting them first was, and is, priority. 

Here are a few of my goals:

Kids needs come first. 

Be straight forward. 

Be pleasant. 

Swallow your pride. 

Be flexible.

Follow the parenting plan. 

Never, ever, EVER talk badly about the other parent. 

I have not always been successful in these goals, I am human after all. But I will not give up and I will continue to try my best. 

I truly believe co-parenting relationships need to be nurtured, which is hard for a lot of people, and it's only possible if both people put in the effort. 

Do not take on the responsibility of making it work, do not be a push over, and do not allow anyone to take advantage of you. 

You want things to work out so much that you allow yourself to be pushed around. I have been there. Try to avoid that. It won't help the kids. 

Focus on what you are doing. How are you helping the situation? How could you make it better? That is your responsibility. 

Now.. what to do when things go wrong. 

Well, things can go wrong in so many ways when you're dealing with co-parenting from two separate families with very different lifestyles. 

No matter what, I always say revert to the parenting plan. Follow it exactly. 

If your parenting plan is not specific enough, file for a new one. It makes life so much easier. 

Most of the minor parenting plan issues are over someone being petty, wanting control, or just being a jerk. 

Don't do that. 

That just makes life harder for your kids. 

However, if your ex-spouse does something that is unacceptable, unsafe, or dangerous (like allowing his current spouse to hurt the children, or having them witness a domestic violence incident, or being questioned and interviewed by CPS) then things start to drastically change. 

First and foremost, do everything legally. 

You may want to lose your shit and get someone acquainted with a crow bar REALLY quick. 

Don't. 

The legal process is long, but worth it in the end. 

Do everything you can to protect the kids (obviously) but don't get yourself in trouble. 

Do not speak badly about the parent. This is not for you to say, no matter what they've allowed to happen. 

And always always stick to the facts. 

I truly hope non of you have to deal with a poor situation, and I wish you luck if you are. 

Much love.